Sunday, August 15, 2010

Yay? Or Nay?

Yesterday I was at a friend’s house and was offered an Oreo. I haven’t had one in maybe ten years or so and though it wasn’t really tempting, I took it anyway. As soon as I put it into mouth, I felt the sugar on my tongue and then down my throat like shattered glass. Delicious shattered glass. This is what crack is like, what heroin, what every addictive, mind numbing drug is like. I had to have another immediately.

I remembered my Nana with a full package in her lap, on top of the crocheted blanket across her legs, sitting on the porch of the house in the last few years of her life. She ate them all day, even after she couldn’t remember the names of her own children, or dress herself properly, or know that she wasn’t sitting in the theater watching the Boston Pops, she’d remember to get her cookies. I think it’s all she ate.

What a way to go. (I don’t know if I’m saying this with cheer or sorrow).

Friday, August 13, 2010

Where I Walked

This looks scarier than it is. It's the road below my house where I walk the dogs at night.

My Nabe: Part 1

Sometimes my neighborhood feels like a college campus. I see the same faces every day. We have experiences together. We have conversations and debates, sometimes the same ones, on a regular basis. We don’t know each other’s names, but we are friends.

The guy on the bike, Hola: This guy is probably around 35 or so. He has twin boys and another son who sings at Mexican rodeos. I see him in different parts of my neighborhood and I have no idea what he does all day. The thing I love about him is that he always speaks to me in Spanish. He doesn’t even try to half/half it like a lot of people. I have no idea what he’s saying and he knows this, and doesn’t care. Once I was outside on my front steps and he was on his bike across the street. Still straddling the seat, he walked over to see me. He started in on something or other, and I just said oh… Yeah… Sure. He asked me some questions and I just nodded my head smiling, my mouth open. Then he pushed away and pedaled down the street still talking loudly over his shoulder. Ok! I said. No problem! In ten minutes he was back with a huge and empty laundry bag. He laid his bike down on the sidewalk and walked over to the avocado and orange trees on the side of my house and started filling his bag with what was strewn across the ground. Oh! I said to him yes, go ahead. Gracias he said.

The homies: These guys, there are 4 and I think they are brothers, sit across the street all day. Sometimes they are belligerent (once saw one of them slap the back of a car and throw a can at it when it tried to turn around in a driveway) but most of the time they just sit quietly, almost meditative, and watch the weather. They are not gangsters like Carlos and his fam down the street but they know how to keep it on the lo. One of them has a chihuahua. He (the guy, not the dog) has teeth like a shark. Every single one has been filed to a V/point. I don’t know if he did this to himself on purpose or if he has an unusual set. More likely he had them all capped gold and then had to sell the caps. He always says hello to me and asks me about my dogs (“my babies” he calls them).

Cleopatra’s Parents: I know them as the couple who own the Great Dane that lives around the corner. They are in their 60s I think. She writes for the Style section of the L.A. Times and he writes for something else. He went to Harvard and all their cars are green. They eat breakfast out on the front porch in the morning and once they had a birthday for Cleopatra and all the dogs invited had to do a trick. My dog Lester’s trick was to show his underbite.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Snooki, Queen of the Underdog

Reality TV, and even certain talk shows, make me uncomfortable and embarrassed, like I'm witnessing something that's not really meant for the public. I know, that's the whole point! I realize this seems contrary to who I am, but it's true. I have not watched Jersey Shore and I've never really been curious about it mainly because I've lived in Philadelphia, spent time at the shore, gone to Mummers parades and sporting events and I've seen all those characters in real life. I'm related to some of them. What do I need to watch them on TV for? Huh? Fuck you. (oops, a little philly just slipped out). But I just read this about Snooki, that I heard about from this, and was reminded of one of the many things to love about the tri-state area.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Bad Teeth

I’m sorry to put a photo of someone I’ve never met displaying their horrible teeth but here’s the thing, I have a bad tooth right now. It’s in the back. Not all the way but almost. You can really only see it if I guffaw, which I try not to do too much. But I can feel it and it hurts and I keep hoping if I stop thinking about it, it will go away. I have to confess that this is not the first time I’ve had a rotten, painful tooth so the fact that I’m trying to convince myself that I can deny its existence is ridiculous, and really goes to show that the one thing more durable than stupidity is shame, which is what I’m feeling about it: shame about my poor dental hygiene, my sugar-filled diet and my inability to pay for root canals. So what can you do when you feel shame about something? You can make fun of someone who is worse off than you. What other choice do I have?

Monday, August 9, 2010

My House After Harry Leaves for College






I especially love the bedroom that has a garage door wall and a dart board and a breakfast table. This house would be great until the night when you are sitting in the living room alone and a man with an ax in one hand and a bleeding human head in the other knocks on the glass.