The Amazing Mother on Her Day Off

The announcer tapped his stick on the bottom of his shoe to knock off the dried manure. He cleared his throat in between puffs on his cigarette. He took one last look at the curtain behind him and then stepped up on the soap box.

Ladies and Gentlemen (he called as the people wandered past). Ladies and Gentlemen. That’s It. Step Right up. Each and Every one. Come one, Come all.

People began to slow and gather. Not because he was so interesting but because they felt it was what they were supposed to do. Some were couples, some loners, some confused. One drunk guy tripped in towards the group. A few kids ran by chasing a goat and then walked back shyly.

Step right up. That’s it. Watch yourself. Don’t be scared.

As the crowd thickened the announcer held up his hands to the sky and closed his eyes. He was a master, after all. He knew that silence would get their attention. The crowd slowly began to hush. They settled in. There was a cough over here, a child stage-whispered, "Ow", over there.

The announcer opened his eyes and looked around slowly. He stared into the gaze of each and every person and then spoke softly.

Ladies and Gentlemen.

(And then as if starting a prayer he said,) Ladies, (He paused) And Gentlemen. This evening we have a sight so astonishing it is almost a corruption. (He held on to the sound of the N for a long time) But it is a sight you all must see. For you all, each and every one, have judged, have passed your critical eye, have condemned. Yea, have condemned. And now I’m asking you to let it go. I’m asking you to let it go because what you are about to see is not something typical. It is a sight so rare, most of you have never seen it and may never see it again in an entire lifetime.

He hopped off the box and walked to the curtain behind him. He slid his hand between the folds.

And now presenting (he pulled one side open), The Truly, Amazing and Incredible: Mother on Her Day Off!

The curtains opened with a flourish to reveal a woman laying on a bed as though having fallen upon it from a great height, her head turned to one side, her mouth slack and slightly opened, legs and arms sprawled heavily askew, the rise and fall of her chest slow and even. She slept.

And the people in the crowd gasped in true amazement. It seemed that they held their breath. Then, at first slowly, then gaining momentum, they began to applaud until no sound, not even a heard of stampeding elephants, could be heard from a mile away.