The title of this blog came from something I said once to a friend when describing what my day had been like. It’s not just the navigating part that feels like a hectic cluster F (if you mapped it and drew a line from a to b it would be a long s- shaped curlicued connection) but it’s the congestion inside my head that’s even more complicated and indirect. I think this is true for most people, although there are a few who are organized and good at planning and don’t just make up the map as they go along, and there are people, who don’t live in LA or a place where they have to drive all day, who don’t go from joy and peace to rage and anxiety and back again in 10 minute cycles. I’m not complaining, or even wishing it was someway else (oh shut up, yes you are, no I’m not, Yes you are. Sssshhhhh!) I just like to keep an eye on it once in a while. Yesterday for example, I went to work, drove Dar to a friends’, walked the dogs three times, took Harry to Universal and watched the Live Animal Actors Show, did laundry and folded it, went jogging, tried to write a bio and finish an outline, talked on the phone, looked up wedding invitation sites and all through the day could not stop thinking of my debts, the famine in Africa, how to raise money for my short film (yes, I will be asking soon) and a video I saw of Amy Winehouse. All this combined with the usual pain, guilt and longing.
Before you watch this video, make sure you are some place where you can really listen.