Friday, September 16, 2011

I Aint a Killer But Don't Push Me

Here's the song playing in my head when I pull into the carpool lane at school.

Until I moved to L.A., I had never experienced outwardly and aggressively rude behavior from other parents. Before that it was always repressed and unspoken. Or if it was spoken, it was done quietly with a friend outside of a five hundred foot(at least) radius of the school. Inside the school though there was always a solidarity, we were all rushing from the chaos of morning at home: unmade beds, milk filled ceral bowls on the table, dog plops in the living room, to stressful days at work. School was just one stop along the way. Often the best part.

Bye Honey.
Bye Mom, I love you.
Love you too, sweets. See you later. Oh hey Mr Simpson, see you at the game on Saturday!
Hi Sal, love the haircut.

Ok, well, not quite, but you know what I'm saying. Here it's every man for himself. God help you if you don't pull ahead 6 inches when the car in front of you moves. You get a full 5 second horn.
Wait, what?
Move!

Or, if you tap your horn to wave and warn another parent that your short child is walking in front of their SUV.
You beepin at me? Really? You beepin at me? Cause I'm the only one here.

I don't like confrontations, especially with angry moms trying to get to yoga class. And I don't mean to judge, I'm an angry mom too. I really just want to fight with my own family members; everyone else just calm the heck down!


1 comment:

  1. Thanks for the song. Works for me. This was the first week of taking my son to high school (a ten-mile schlep over the river and through the woods into the 'burbs, so no overpriced pay-as-you-go school bus for us, at least not yet) and it's a whole new world. So far, everyone's nicer than nice in a scary overthetopportlandwesthillprivilege kind of way, but the traffic going in and out of the school's half-mile driveway is a snail's parade of whompin' SUVs and shiny volvos, with my beat-up Subaru almost always taking up the rear. Everyone is so worried about their kid getting into the best college while not getting into drugs or unprotected sex that no one has time to get hard-over about the other stuff. And they all get there so early! perhaps because many of them have travelled that driveway since kindergarten and know the drill. I've got mixed feelings about ever learning the drill.

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