Thursday, April 10, 2014

Shortening Every Word In The Dic And Other Chafes

The habit of shortening words falls into the category of things that you do every day that make your head explode when other people do them. I say fam. I say nabe. I say b.t.dubs (which is doubly inflammatory because it's an acronym). I say peen; vag. Somehow these versions seem more friendly, more comfortable; the way you might speak if you're in a board meeting or giving a diagnosis and you want to put your audience/patient at ease. "You're gonna need some antibiotics for that wart on your peen; here's a perscrip." Totes.

I instantly hate someone who says amazeballs. I don't know why that is. I like the word amazing; love the word balls, but the two together set me off. The word can be halfway out of  a person's mouth and I think: done. It's harsh, I know. But probably not harsh enough. I wouldn't mind if just one person said it: the first person who made it up 4 years ago. I might have thought: Calm down, Gomer Pyle, it's not that exciting; but it wouldn't have irritated  me in the same way. There's something about it that seems disingenuous.

Oh yeah, for reals. The person who uses these terms becomes the annoying adult who tries to use teen lingo to bond with the kids, to make himself appear younger and cooler than he really ever was, is or will be.

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