Oldie: I Put A Spell On You

I recently got talked into getting a credit card from Best Buy but then it sat on my desk for a few months before I got around to activating it. I called the number taped onto the card and was immediately transferred to the New Delhi branch.

“Good afternoon, my name is Bob, thank you so much for calling, to whom am I speaking today?

Deird.

Ok Deird, that is a lovely name, and how are you today?

Fine.

I am so pleased to hear that Deird, and how can I be of your assistance today?

I wanted to activate my card.

Oh very well, I want to take this opportunity to congratulate you Deird—

Thank you.

-- and let you know that I will be extremely happy to help you with that today. I understand that you would like to activate your card today Deird, is that correct?

Yes.”

I could have had this conversation for hours. Something about an Indian accent with its beautiful melody and rolling r’s hypnotizes and relaxes me to the point where I no longer hear the actual words, but feel as though I am being sung to. (I have a similar reaction to Arianna Huffington’s voice, where I feel like crawling into her lap and having her read me a story while she caresses the hair off my forehead.)  I ended up talking to Bob, I should say listening to Bob, for 30 minutes while he told me about a “buy-back program”. He must have used the words program and offer and ‘to your benefit Deird’ at least 60 times during the conversation. All I could say was Uh-huh, and ok and yeah. When I hung up the phone I wasn’t sure what had happened; I may have just agreed to pay $50 extra dollars a month for the rest of my life.

I was still a little tipsy from the conversation when I got into my car, I had been on the phone so long I was late for after-school pickups!, and when I turned on the radio, they were talking about the new Best Buy consumer scam. I listened for about 5 minutes before the fog evaporated and I realized they had just said consumer scam. What happened? Bob what did you do? What did I do? I drove like a maniac swerving in and out of lanes and beeping my horn, while listening to why no sane person should ever fall for such a thing.

By the time I got to school I had calmed down; I pulled myself together and took a deep breath. It would be ok; I would just call Bob back tomorrrow and have another conversation.