Thursday, January 26, 2012


Oddly, I had a high school experience last night while visiting a high school. Dar and I had just walked in and were standing in the entry hall, turning this way and that, as crowds bumped by us. I had the thought, "Well this is strange, no one is here to greet us; where should we go? What are we supposed to do? Is there any sort of order to this?" and then standing there, holding my purse, I suddenly felt like my mother and then her mother and then her mother, ad infinitum, to thousands of years ago when the very first mother took her teen-daughter to visit a new high school: I was not only confused but I was annoying. Good thing for me, I am used to this position. We had a whole silent exchange and acknowledgement and then I gave Dar the "Relax, I know what to do" look. She rolled her eyes and then bowed her head and tensed up, bracing for the mortification to come: I was going to ask for help. I waved to the first adult I saw, a man in a suit, holding a folder.
Excuse me, we don't know what to do here. (and for the record, never use the word "we" to describe your own confusion if there is a teenager standing next to you). We don't know where to go. Are we just supposed to walk around? (and then don't keep saying you don't know what you're doing over and over in a variety of ways).
What program are you applying to?
Drama. (don't answer at the same time as the teen so that you sound like the spooky twins from The Shining)
Oh, well, how about that, my name is Roberto Blagitty Blah III and I am the head of the Drama department. (don't pretend to be impressed) I will be holding a gathering of lovely people (do start to look at the teen from the corner of your eye) in my chambre (do start to stare straight ahead so you don't start laughing). I am also the producer of a film called Shakesperean Balderdash and I'll be sharing about my experience (do look genuinely confused together), and yes I do Know Mr. Ephron personally.
Zac. (do keep looking confused)
Zac Ephron.
Oooooooh. (do look at teen and nod your heads together. And then Back. Away. Slowly)

Thank god for adults who are bigger idiots than you.

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