1. Never call it a live music show in front of your kids.
2. When you get to said show, stand with a group of people you've never met before but now have this experience in common with.
3. Put your purse over your shoulder and your hands in your back pockets.
4. Sway a little.
5. Pull your hands out of your pockets and start drumming the beat on the sides of your legs even though it makes you feel like a middle aged dentist.
6. Get into it.
7. Yell Wooooo.
8. Clap along with the guy on the stage but then stop after 30 seconds because the song still has another verse and you can't clap the whole goddam time.
9. Cross your arms and giggle thinking about your three children watching you on a secretly installed mom-cam.
10. Yell woooo and whistle with your fingers just for their sake.
11. Wipe the spit off your chin.
12. Look around and make sure no one saw you.
13. Love so much your friends that you came with, especially when you can hear them singing quietly to the chorus verse.
14. Clap with your hands over your head and yell wooo when the song is over.
15. Yell Yeah when they start playing the beginning of the next song, which you heard only once before on youtube but know it's a popular one.
16. Have fun.
17. Hope your kids are still watching the mom-cam.
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