The Group That Rides My Bus

Normally, on an average day, I have about three personalities. There’s the me that is doing stuff: getting dressed, waking the kids, walking in the woods, going to work, and then there’s the me that comments: “How did I get back flaps? I really need to stop yelling at children. I just need 2000 more dollars a month and then we can move”. And there’s the me that judges and frets and prods and chatters endlessly, like background music at a grocery store. I can manage this group. I know where each one sits on the bus inside my head, and though occasionally one of the me-s gets noisy or the background-music-me needs to be turned down, I am not freaked out by “the multiple personality” nature of it. But then I go to a school event or some group situation where I am expected to behave like a functioning adult and the bus in my head is suddenly standing room only. It’s like I pulled in to the Port Authority and picked up a whole bunch of me-s that I don’t usually have to deal with.

Ugh, I hate these things.

This is so much fun.

This is like a healthy family activity.

I need to volunteer more often.

Everyone here lives in an actual house and pays their bills on time.

I wish I had a husband and a normal family.

She is seriously medicated.

I really need to get my health insurance straightened out

Uch, there’s that mean kid. Oh there’s the mom, makes sense.

What is wrong with you (me)?

Why are you just standing there with your hand on your hip, go talk to someone.

I’ll never fit in.